


A Heavy Heart to Carry

by choked_cherry



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Coping, Disobeying Orders, M/M, Manipulation, Resolved Sexual Tension, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 11:35:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5783899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choked_cherry/pseuds/choked_cherry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean watches Armin as he struggles to cope with what he did to protect his squad during the escape in Stohess District. After a couple nights of fits and panic attacks, Captain Levi issues an order that goes against Jean’s moral fibre</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Heavy Heart to Carry

**Author's Note:**

> -Constructive crit is ok and welcomed  
> -Special thanks to shingekinoconfessions on Tumblr for letting me rant about Jean x Armin  
> -I still do that mad gay thing where I use the song I was listening to, to title a fic

It played in Jean's mind, over and over again. The feeling of the wagon as it lurched along at high speeds on a cobble-stone pathway. The deafening blast of gunfire. The woman's face as it contorted with agony, the barrel of a gun raising toward his face. The woman's face as it was blown away by Armin's weapon. And lastly, the look on Armin's face when he saw the crumpled heap of clothed meat spill all over the wagon.

Armin was focused on the task at hand; steering the horses and getting everyone the hell out of dodge. It wasn't until the horses were tied up and the adrenaline had died down, that the gravity of what he'd done hit him full force.

The next two days were painful. Armin was clumsy with his tasks during the day, jumpy and skittish at any loud sound, such as the crack of an axe against wood, or someone speaking to him in anything above a whisper. He spilled things, dropped things, did things in the wrong order, and apologized for it over and over again, even though no one blamed Armin for how he was reacting. When night came, Armin's sleep was fitful and mottled with cries. He'd even pissed himself once, to his immense shame. Jean helped him clean up and hadn't said a word to anyone about it.

On the second night, Armin woke the whole damn camp up because of his night terrors. No one could blame Armin, but at the same time, he could have exposed them to attackers. There was a deep, irrational fury at the poor blonde that simmered just below the surface. No one slept in two days. Armin didn't sleep at all.

And Jean, conflicted and guilty, avoided Armin. He didn't speak to Armin, didn't look at him. He couldn't bare to. Every time Jean noticed the small blonde, the wild look in his eyes came back to him. The question Armin asked him on that first night still haunted him. Jean felt guilty and sick. The inadequacy was there too, stealing away any reasonable answer he could give Armin. Every time Armin came near him, or touched him, or spoke, Jean only half engaged him, and moved away from him as soon as he could.  Jean knew Armin wasn't coping well, and his chicken-shit behaviour wasn't helping. But he couldn't help it... He knew Armin needed something from him but he couldn't work up the courage to give it to him. And everyone was paying for it.

Their collective patience with Armin was well and truly running dry. Something had to be done. That was when Captain Levi pulled Jean aside while Mikasa, Connie and Sasha stayed behind to gently work Armin out of his fits.

Only the starlight helped illuminate the tiny clearing that Levi had Jean follow him into.

“How do you think Armin is doing.” Levi said, and it wasn't a question.

Jean shook his head and glanced back toward the camp over his shoulder, his expression pained as he heard the soft tone of Armin's voice. “Sir... He needs a hospital.” He said quietly.

“That's right. But we're almost a hundred miles away from the nearest hospital, aren't we.” Another, not-question.

Jean nodded.

Levi paused his slow circle around Jean, and crossed his arms. “Armin asked you a question two nights ago. Do you remember what it was?”

Jean gulped. He wouldn't forget that question as long as he lived. “He asked me, 'why was I the one who shot first?'”

“Why didn't you shoot first, Jean?” Levi asked. Definitely a question.

And that question irked Jean to no end. Didn't his Captain realize he'd wrestled with that same question for three nights? Hadn't the Captain himself answered it a few nights earlier? “...I didn't want to kill her. I didn't want to... Become a person that kills another person.” He said finally.

“Your softness forced Armin into a corner.”

Jean made no motion at Levi's words. He only stood there, glaring, biting the inside of his lip in distress.

“Listen carefully, Jean.” Levi made a slow circle around Jean. The taller man kept still, trying to seem blase and not  squirm as if he were being circled by a mean, calculating animal. In the murkiness, Levi's voice was low and quiet, and intensely serious. “If Armin wasn't prepared to protect his comrades with lethal force, many more of us would have died, you included. I've seen the way you skulk around him. You owe him more than that. You owe Armin more than an answer. You owe Armin more than an apology. You owe him your life. Do you understand what that means? Can you even being to fathom what he lost, in saving your life?”

Levi stepped closer to Jean, a full head shorter than Jean, but Jean was positively terrified that this man was going to do something violent to him. His Captain's proximity, the faint crying sounds from the camp and Levi's words felt like heavy weights on Jean's sternum. Levi said, “Armin cares deeply about us. He went above and beyond his tender nature to protect us.  But for you, Jean Kirstein, he did far worse.”

Jean turned his face away from Captain Levi, and stepped back. The Captain continued. “He'd have taken a bullet for anyone. But for you, he murdered someone.”

The gravity of that realization hit him so hard he had to brace against a tree. His legs felt weak and his throat was parched. “Look, I'm not saying that I'm not grateful...”

“You are. Every moment you let him endure what he did for you alone, you're taking his sacrifice for granted.” Levi cut in.

For some reason, the last three sleepless nights, and the unbearable thought that they were all, completely useless to Armin pushed Jean over the edge. And now his Captain was saying he was taking Armin for granted? It made him grind his teeth “So, what do you want me to do?” Jean snapped, his eyes wide with fury. “What can I do?”

“Whatever it takes to get that brilliant mind stable again. Armin is a genius, but he can't function in his state. We need him. Whatever it takes to get him stable again, even if you have to fake it, do it.” Levi stated.

“Fake what, exactly?” There was a steady silence, and an indecipherable look on Levi's face that made Jean sick.  “Like what you and Eren have?” Jean's expression turned murderous and dark. “That sick shit?”

“Yes. That _sick_ shit.”

Captain Levi's “arrangement,” with Eren, (Jean refused to call it a relationship,) was well known. There was no end of talk regarding Levi's rumoured kinks. So any order coming out of Levi's mouth was always a little tainted by the fact that he seemed to get his kicks at seeing submissive, behaviour. It made Jean sick and angry to remotely consider doing anything like that to Armin...  In the minute starlight, Jean was pale. “I won't do it.”

“Armin cares for you more than anyone else, whether you like it or not, whether you can stomach it, or not. There are no Doctors out here. There are no hospitals. All we have right now, at this moment, is each other. Our mission is on the breaking point, and Armin's night terrors need to go away. He needs to sleep, he needs to eat, he needs to function without having a mental breakdown.  He needs to be ready for when we next move out. Armin did what he did because of you. He responds to you the most out of everyone here. Whatever he wants from you, _give it to him_.”

Jean's heart pounded in his chest with such force he felt his vision blur. “He pulled the trigger and saved my life, that doesn't mean he wants me that way. Would you be ordering any of them to do something like that for Armin?”

“Of course I would.” Levi said.

“How could you possibly think he wants anything from me right now? How does that make him more stable?” Jean said, his voice rising in volume. “Explain to me how it made Eren stable. Because Eren's not stable anymore, he's lovesick and it's fucking disgusting. Is that what happened between you two? You waited until he was traumatized to jump him?”

“I haven't done anything to Eren he didn't specifically ask me for. Whatever he wanted from me, if it corrected and improved his behaviour, I did it.”

Jean shook his head. “Nothing you've done there is correct! You're not right in your fucked up head if you think that way. I won't do it to Armin, it's wrong. What you two are,  it's ...”

“Whatever you think we are, you're about to become the same thing.” Captain Levi said, his voice steady and calm. “Jean Kirstein, I hereby order you to see to Armin's care, by whatever means necessary. It's now your sole responsibility to make sure he sleeps through the night, eats his food with out throwing it up, and whatever else it takes to make him a functioning soldier of the Survey Corps. Now get your ass back to camp and make sure he doesn't have another outburst for the rest of our time here.”

Jean's jaw dropped as he stared at Levi. “Fuck. You.”

“Come again?” Levi asked, stepping closer, his head cocking to the side. “I didn't hear you.”

“FUCK. YOU.”

Jean lunged at Captain Levi.

* * *

 

Levi arrived back to camp looking unperturbed. Jean's face was down-turned. Sasha and Connie returned after scouting the area for intruders. For a good distance they saw nothing, heard nothing, so they quickly returned and reported the news to Levi.

“All clear, Captain.” Sasha said as she sat down on one of the logs by the fire-pit.

“Same. I'm a little jumpy though, so if it's alright with you I'll stay up and keep watch.”

“That's fine, Connie.  Mikasa and Sasha, you'll stay here and get some sleep. Jean and Armin, you two get some sleep in the shed. I'll be patrolling the other side of camp.”

Armin glanced up at Jean, then the others. He stood up from, his cloak and jacket sliding to the ground and saluted Captain Levi. “Sir, I'm very sorry about that. It won't happen again.” He said, bravely.

“Understood, Armin. Jean.” Levi glanced over his shoulder. “Help him.” Levi said.

Jean moved forward, not looking at Levi or acknowledging him or anyone else at the little makeshift camp. He patted Armin on the shoulder and quietly said, “Let's go, Armin.”

Armin glanced after Jean, who walked off into the darkness. He scrambled to pick up his jacket and cloak, as well as Jean's and his supply pack, and walked off after him.

* * *

 

As Jean walked on jittery legs, he tried not to let the pain in his side show. Deep down, he was fucking enraged at Levi's order. He could shove that right back up his ass. He pulled open the shed door open and put his back against it. Armin walked in, babbling something, but Jean only half listened.

“Huh?”

“I said I'm sorry for waking everyone.” Armin said, his eyes downcast and bashful. “I don't know what's wrong with me.”

Jean pulled the shed door shut as quietly as he could. “You can't help it, Armin. No one blames you.”

Armin began settling down into the dirt floor. There was a mildewey smell to the tiny shed, probably from the blanket of leaves and twigs that had blown in over the years. The ground leached the warmth from their bodies, but layers of jackets, coats and cloaks provided adequate enough cover so that they didn't freeze.

Jean watched Armin as he began to settle in for the night. There was a medium sized candle that Armin had lit, giving them light and warmth in the small shed. Jean realized that Armin tended to do things like this for the both of them all the time. Not just campfires, but also food prep, bedding, even cleaning up their dishes after a meal... Everything. Even back during training, when they were just getting to know each other, Armin always wanted to be near him, in his space, doing whatever he was doing.  An uneasy thought went through his mind then. He just looked at Armin, realization building like a storm in his mind.

Armin's attraction to him was no secret to Jean, although the other boy firmly never said a word about it. Jean couldn't count the number of times he'd caught Armin staring at him; his back when he picked up something heavy, his ass when he was leaned over. There was also that one time he'd slept naked on a sultry, summer night during training. He'd slept a bit and then kicked the sheets down around his knees. Jean had firmly kept his eyes closed, trying to sleep, but then he'd been distracted by the unmistakable sound of shaky breathing and an escaped moan. A peek between his eyelashes revealed Armin, on his bunk, hand palming his dick as he stared right at Jean.  It had been such a mean thing to do, to tease Armin like that, but Jean had rolled over, giving the other a good view of his naked ass. He rode high on that wave of flattery for a long time. Jean knew he got Armin hot and bothered sometimes, but he hadn't known there was anything more to it. Attraction was one thing; it was fleeting, it was random, and you could get it out of your system and experience relief. Feelings were an entirely different matter; it was a well that was always running dry in one's scramble to fill it. He'd wronged Armin so badly.

“I'm sorry.”

Armin looked up at Jean. “Huh?”

“Armin... “ Jean said. “Do you regret saving me?”

For the first time in three nights, Armin looked at Jean right in the eyes, and the look he saw there nearly stopped his heart. The expression looked truly dismal. Truly... Armin lost something that couldn't ever be replaced. But he said, “You? Never.” with such finality that it jarred Jean.   Armin suddenly pressed his hands over his mouth and turned his back to Jean.

Levi's words, his orders, came back to Jean in a phantom whisper. His hesitation and his cowardice, and his past arrogance and vanity, was fucking up  one of the inner wall's greatest minds.

“Come here, Armin.” Jean said softly as he approached the other boy. Armin came to him immediately, wrapping his thin arms tightly around Jean's waist. A loving gesture to be sure, but Jean grunted a stern, “Gah!” and doubled over. Armin gasped and glanced up at Jean, then traced Jean's hand where it pressed against his side.

“Did I hurt you? Jean?” Armin asked, his voice full of concern. He gently pulled Jean's hand away and lifted his shirt up out of the waistband of his pants. Ugly bruises made a patchwork on Jean's side. Armin's fingers were gentle as he stroked the marked flesh with wide, concerned eyes. “When did you get these? Why didn't you see Sasha about this?”

Jean swallowed and pulled in a deep, calming breath. “It looks worse than it is.” He said. And it was mostly true. Levi's hits definitely looked worse than they felt... As long as  no one squeezed the shit out of him.

“Jean... Who...? What happened here?” Armin shaped his hand just so, and held it alongside one of the bruises. Cuff marks. Knuckle prints. Armin flattened his hand out beside the bruises, and stroked, causing Jean to shiver, and not from pain.  Armin had very gentle hands.

“After everything we went through in the last week, everyone's bruised and banged up, Armin.” Jean said, and pulled the shirt back down. He wanted to pull away, give the boy back his space. He wanted to give himself some space, some time to think. Armin's behaviour was so much more understandable now. No less manageable, but understandable. Something in Armin's eyes, the genuine expression there, so utterly vulnerable, and the way Armin's hands were gently touching him... The shed was cozy and warm, because Armin made it that way for himself and for Jean. Guilt and Levi's words echoed in him.

_'You owe him more than an answer...'_

Jean gently pulled Armin's hands into his own.

_'You owe him more than an apology...'_

“Listen... Armin...”

“Y-Yes?”

_'You owe him your life...'_

“I can't thank you enough for what you did for me. I'm so sorry I put you through that. I promise you...” Jean took a deep breath, his eyes locked on the pair of hands Jean held in his. He pulled one of them up to his mouth and kissed the back of Armin's hand. He traced his thumb over Armin's knuckles, trying to soothe away the quiver. “Next time... I'll definitely shoot first. I'll look after you. Okay? Don't be afraid.”

Armin just stared back at Jean for long moments, his cheeks, ears and a part of his neck staining red. Jean held him close, one hand cupping his face gently. He brushed aside the thick, golden bangs to look into Armin's eyes. Even in the weak light, they glittered blue. The blonde stared back at him, mouth parted, breathing deep and steady. Armin's lashes fluttered as he glanced down at Jean's mouth. Slowly, carefully, Jean pressed his lips to Armin's, and stroked his mouth against the other boy's, not quite kissing him

Oh... God...

Armin wasn't pulling away, or fidgeting, or giving any indication that he wanted to be somewhere else. Jean pressed himself fully against Armin, claiming the other boy's mouth in a kiss that was slow and hot.  Armin tasted like warm summer and bliss, and as Jean sampled more, Armin whimpered.

“What's wrong?” Jean asked, pulling away, only to have Armin's hand stroke the back of his neck and guide Jean's face back to his.

“More...” Armin whispered, eyes still closed and mouth still pursed for another kiss.

“I need to know something.” Jean said quickly, not yet ready to succumb to ... whatever this was. “I feel like I'm taking advantage of you. That's the last thing I want to do.”

Armin's eyes fluttered open and he licked his lips. “Technically,” he murmured, “I'm taking advantage of you, don't you think?”

Jean felt a smile tug at his mouth. “Are you, Armin? Are you taking advantage of poor, helpless me?”

Armin returned Jean's smile with a cute one of his own. “A bit.” He admitted.

“Seriously?”

The question, posed the way it was, made them pause. But they still stood close together, arms wrapped around one another. “I'm just going out on a limb here, but I figured Captain Levi talked you into helping me out a little more.”

“Something like that, yeah.” Jean said, hoping the anxiousness in his chest didn't change the expression on his face. “So how are you taking advantage of me, again?”

Armin's teeth were pearly white where they bit his bottom lip, the gesture coy and bashful. “Helping me and making out with me aren't the same thing.” He said, with an embarrassed huff of laughter.

“I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that.” Jean said, his own laughter relieved and a touch shaky. He bowed his head against Armin's and nuzzled the other boy. “We should probably talk about this first. When we're not in a life or death situation.”

“Yeah.” Armin said, and licked his lips again, and the way  he kept staring at Jean's mouth was distracting as hell. “Yes, let's do that. We should probably get some sleep right now.”

Jean hugged Armin to him and scooped him up so that when he lowered himself onto the ground, Armin was stretched out, facing Jean. He wrapped his arms around Armin and pulled up their cloaks, tucking them both in and wrapping them up, warm and close. They settled in together. Armin felt the exhaustion creep around him and make his limbs heavy. Jean's arms around him, and his scent comforted him in a way he didn't know he needed. They gazed at each other, and then sleep took them both.

* * *

 

Jean was awakened by the cold damp air beading on his chest. The cloaks were ruffled to the side and empty. Armin shivered in the corner. It took another moment for his tired brain to catch up, and then he bolted up out of the coverings. Their long burning candle cast deep shadows on both of them. Jean was careful not to accidentally put it out in his rush to get to Armin.

“Armin?” He said as he crawled over to the other boy, hunched in the corner. His arms were wrapped tight around his  knees and he shook with cold. Jean ran his hands along Armin's arms. That seemed to lessen Armin's rapid breathing. Jean sat beside Armin, pressing his body to the other boy, crowding him. “Talk to me.”

“I woke up and you were there beside me all cold and still. And I was too scared to try and wake you.” Armin said. Jean had to lean down to hear exactly what the blonde was saying. He fretted for a moment, a very real and driving need to run almost making him leave Armin to fetch someone else to help. Mikasa, Captain Levi... No wait, fuck him.

“I dreamed you were dead. And then when I opened my eyes you were lying beside me all cold...” Armin said, his voice quieter, and pitching a little higher. His knuckles were white as they gripped on to the arms of his shirt.

“I'm an ugly sleeper, huh?” Jean's half-hearted attempt at humour fell flat. Worry strained is next words. “Look at me, Armin.” Jean said. “It was a bad dream. I'm right here. Nothing happened, ok?” He didn't know what to do. All he could do was try to reason with Armin before he freaked out. He felt so useless... it settled in his stomach like acid. Jean bowed his head on Armin's knee, and kissed the boy's hand. He didn't think about it, he just did it. He was concerned for Armin, and he wanted him to know everything was fine so he kissed his hand.

Armin raised his head from the crook of his arms. His face was splotchy and his eyes were red rimmed and stunningly blue. “We're alright.” He said, touching Armin's hair. The blonde blinked at him slowly. Jean was close to him, arms around him, petting, stroking, touching. It made Armin feel dizzy with relief. “We're alright. I dunno about tomorrow but right now, we're alright. Just a bad dream. Ok?”

The blonde just looked at Jean, looking so lost and broken. Then he was pushing himself into Jean's lap, and the other boy pulled him in and close, wrapping his arms tight around that  petite frame that shivered and sweated in the dark, damp night air. Jean's hands ran down Armin's back, his arms, his throat and chest down to his tummy, and back up again. Again, Jean didn't think about what he was doing, he just did it. Armin shuddered, pushed himself against Jean, eager for more touches.

“I dunno what I'd be doing now if it was you.” Armin's voice cracked as he struggled to get the words out through shaking breaths. “I care about them too, but I'd die if it was you, I don't know what that says about m--”

And for the third time in the span of a few minutes, Jean did something he didn't think about. He pressed his lips on Armin's in a kiss that stole his thoughts away. He pulled back, held Armin's face in his hands. Armin's chest expanded with deep, steady breaths. He touched Jean's lips with his shaking fingers and Jean breathed warm onto them, and then pulled Armin's hand down to the left side of his chest, and pressed it there.

“We're alright. Right now, we're alright.” He said. Armin felt the quiet strength in those words, the stark reality of those words, and felt it through his hand. There was a steady pulsing on one of his fingers. Jean's heart beat a little fast. Jean watched those gorgeous blue eyes peer into him, dip down to his chest and back up again.

Armin swallowed around a dry throat, trembling now, but for a completely different reason. And then he surprised them both when he straddled Jean, pressed his hands to the back of Jean's neck and kissed him with abandon.

Shocked, Jean felt himself be pushed flat onto his back, with Armin suddenly straddling him and kissing him. He gave in to  the kiss fully, arms wrapping around Armin, coasting along his back, down to Armin's hips where he ground against Jean's crotch. Jean stroked Armin slowly, soothingly, bringing him back down.

“Tell me what you want.” Jean whispered hoarsely, unable to hide how thoroughly his body responded to Armin's grinding.

“Take your clothes off.” Armin said, and leaned forward again and devoured Jean's mouth, his little hands pulling at the buttons of Jean's shirt, insistent and efficient.

Damn, Armin was fast. Jean rolled them over and manuevered himself between Armin's legs, his shirt hanging open. Armin ran his hands along Jean's sweat slicked skin, mindful of the myriad of bruises, and made a low sound of want. Jean caressed Armin's shoulders and then began pulling open his shirt, mouthing over every bit of Armin's pale, exposed skin. The blonde arched into those kisses, hands fisting tight in Jean's hair.

Jean gently worked Armin's hands out of his hair and placed them on either side of Armin's head. “Easy with the hair pulling,” and before he could see that flash of guilt, Jean leaned down and licked Armin's mouth and settled into another kiss.

Armin felt like his insides were turning into molten liquid, he needed Jean so badly. He let out another sound of want as Jean slowly ground down against the bulge in his pants. “J-Jean... pleeeease!” He whined, his hands reaching forward to knead at himself.

Jean gently pushed Armin's hands away. He bent to kiss Armin again and then settled back against the other boy's hips. His hands were patient and slow and hot as he pulled at Armin's pants until he was completely exposed. Armin was pale everywhere, even on his prick, but the tip was moist with precum and reddened. Jean felt his jaw tighten as he held it in his hand and gave it a few strokes. Armin jerked and moaned beneath him.

“Any other place, any other time I would probably make you ride my face all night.” Jean said hoarsely as he stroked, watching precum gather at the tip of Armin's cock and splatter on his belly.

Armin pushed himself up on his elbows, eyes wide and wild as he watched Jean pull on him. “Our timing is shit.” He whined, and then let his head fall back with a long sigh, as a particularly good pull exposed the throbbing head of dick.

Jean pulled his hand away from Armin to work on his own pants. Jean's cock strained against the restrictive fabric of his pants, and when he slid it off past his hips, it bobbed up and down. He pushed his pants down lower to his knees so he could manuever a little better, and he took his time doing it. Armin watched, enraptured.

Jean returned to him, and pressed his dick along side Armin's, and felt an electric boil of pleasure from the his scalp to the tip of his toes. He was also more than a little pleased that he was longer, and thicker than Armin, and it didn't intimidate Armin one little bit. Jean wrapped his hand around both of them and slowly started pumping their lengths and thrusting his hips, making a lovely, wet, mess on Armin's smooth, hot belly.

Armin couldn't think clearly, he couldn't breathe right. All he could see in front of him was how gorgeous Jean looked in the weak light, thrusting his hips forward in a steady rhythm, gripping and rubbing their dicks along side each other. His  pleasure pounded in his body, in his blood. Armin was red from his hair line to his chest from breathing so steadily and deeply.

Jean picked up a faster rhythm, and Armin felt it right away. He didn't tell Jean what to do or what he wanted. Jean was already doing everything Armin could ever want. Jean's rhythm got faster and he started to moan a little louder. Armin's temperature just couldn't go up any higher.

“Not supposed... to be so... loud...” Armin breathed as he reached up toward Jean. “Come here....”

Jean bowed down and let Armin pull his face toward that plush, red mouth. The angle made Jean think of plowing Armin's pert, little ass. He groaned into Armin's mouth, and the blonde just couldn't keep up. He gasped for breath as he came, the molten pleasure tensing deep in his belly, making his whole body buck and spasm. He barely remembered not to engage his vocal cords, but his gasps are high and loud, and Jean also let out a low groan. Armin felt another hot rush spill over his stomach, and then Jean collapsed on top of him, his one arm  unable to support his weight anymore.

They laid like that for some time, sweating, red, exhausted and sated. Jean dimly became aware that Armin's arms were wrapped around his head, cradling his face, stroking his hair. Armin lay back, breathing gently, eyes closed. There was no more tension in Armin's body, only a relaxed, calmness over his limbs. Jean pulled away from him, and grimaced at the strings of come attached to their tummies. Armin was completely unperturbed by the sight.

Clean up was fast. Armin offered his shirt, saying that he would use his spare to wear tomorrow. They could wash everything tomorrow, including the cloaks they slept on. Armin wiped off himself and then Jean. He touched Jean's body appreciatively, and then Jean leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Quit looking at me like that.” He said and settled back into the cloaks again.

Armin giggled as he put aside the shirt and settled back into Jean's arms. Jean petted and stroked his back, and Armin stretched out, mewled like a kitten. “I don't want this to be a one-time thing.” He said.

“It isn't.” Jean answered, his arms still busy over Armin's back. “But we should probably still talk. Nothing bad. I just... think it's the right thing to do.” There was a comfortable silence between the two of them as they settled in. Jean thought about the last hour and felt his face heat with embarrassment. “Think anyone heard us?”

“Crap... I'd honestly be surprised if no one heard us.” Armin giggled. His face reddened too. “Captain Levi will kill you.”

“Captain Levi I can handle. It's Mikasa I'm worried about.”

“Speaking of, you're not allowed to flirt with her or look at her anymore.”

“Oh? Possessive already? We were just making out.”

Armin pushed himself to look into Jean's face, his expression bemused and a little annoyed. Jean was grinning like a stupid fool. “Not. Allowed. Got it?” Jean winced each time Armin patted his side (the one with the bruises, ow!) on each word, for emphasis.

“Got it.” Jean conceded, and moved to kiss Armin's achingly adorable pout. “Sleep.”

Armin settled down again that night, and slept deeper than he ever had in his life. Jean's hand flattened over the back of Armin's neck and stroked downward along the other boy's spine, down to the waistband of his briefs and back up again. Long strokes with the palm of his hand along Armin's body kept the boy deep in restful slumber.

~I was a heavy heart to carry  
But he never let me down  
When he had me in his arms  
My feet never touched the ground~

"Heavy In Your Arms" - Florence + The Machine


End file.
